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alice (or alistair)

level	XP	Title	HD	Atk	Paralyze	Poison	Breath	Device	Magic	Skill Points
1	0	Fool	1d6	+0	15	17	16	15	15	2
2	1500	Knave/Maid	+1d4	+0	15	17	16	15	15	-
3	3000	Noble	+1d4	+0	15	17	16	15	15	-
4	6000	Yeomen	+1d4	+0	15	17	16	15	15	-
5	12000	Gentleman/Lady	+1d4	+2	13	15	14	13	13	-
6	24000	Esquire	+1d4	+2	13	15	14	13	13	-
7	48000	Knight/Dame	+1d4	+2	13	15	14	13	13	-
8	96000	Baronet/Baronetess	+1d4	+2	11	13	12	11	11	-
9	192000	Baron/Baroness	+1d4	+5	11	13	12	11	11	-
10	288000	Viscount/Viscountess	+1	+5	11	13	12	11	11	-
11	384000	Earl/Countess	+1	+5	11	13	12	11	11	-
12	480000	Marquess/Marchioness	+1	+5	9	11	10	9	9	-
13	576000	Duke/Duchess	+1	+7	9	11	10	9	9	-
14	672000	Prince/Princess	+1	+7	9	11	10	9	9	-
15	768000	Prince/Princess, 15th lvl	+1	+7	9	11	10	9	9	-
16	864000	Prince/Princess, 16th lvl	+1	+7	7	9	8	7	7	-
17+	+96000/lvl	King/Queen	+1/lvl	+9	7	9	8	7	7	-

Abilities

Exasperation:
In times of unusual stress Alices may become Exasperated. This Exasperation causes fate to take notice of the Alice, and then to aid her. The Alice says or thinks something like “Oh I can’t conceive how I ever fell into this deplorable circumstance!” or “We are indeed doomed and now birds will gnaw our eyes.”
Practically speaking, an Alice may express Exasperation once every real-time game hour (as games focus almost exclusively on stressful times, these represent the periods during which the gods are most likely to take notice).
When this happens, the Referee should roll the dice on the Exasperation Table...

Restrictions

The Alice must be unencumbered to use any of the class abilities involving movement or suffer a one point skill penalty per level of encumbrance. They must have Specialist Tools (see Equipment section) to use Search for finding traps or to use Tinker for opening locks or other such activities.

Exasperation Table

At 1-5th level the Referee rolls d4, at 6-7th level roll d6, at 8-9th level roll d8, at 10-11th roll d10, at 12th level and higher roll d12:

These effects are magical and can be countered as magic.

1	A secret door is revealed where none had previously been detected. If the Referee has made no provision for a secret door, it leads to the nearest unexplored area.
2	The Alice realizes she has something in her pack, her hair, or otherwise secreted about her person. The object can be anything non-magical and generic (a key, not the key) that exists in the setting and that is: - small enough that the Alice could reasonably have it hidden it in her current condition - or smaller than a breadbox ...whichever dimensions are smaller at the time. The Alice may choose what this is.
3	An ordinary animal— cat sized or smaller— appears. The Alice cannot directly control it but it will not under any circumstances hurt the Alice.
4	A fact about the situation at hand occurs to the Alice— something she learned once in a lesson or in a kitchen or on a Sunday— a piece of local or monster lore germane to the situation.
5	Someone of the Alice’s choice falls down. (Line of sight.)
6	The weather in the immediate area changes in a way decided by the Alice— the change is general and may not be targeted (no aimed lighting bolts or gusts of wind).
7	A nearby creature is charmed by the Alice for an hour. (Line of sight.)
8	An inorganic device or object of the Alice’s choice breaks. (Line of sight.)
9	Something not ordinarily able to talk (Referee’s choice) begins to speak to the Alice. It is generally sympathetic.
10	Creatures present completely forget the Alice is there for ten seconds and for as long as the Alice keeps making saves vs. Magic.
11	Someone is sent to fetch the Alice out of her current predicament. If there is an obvious candidate from among the local NPCs (giant eagles, a friendly knight...), that’s who it is. If there isn’t, then: hey Referee, time to make up a weirdo of d10 HD. The NPC does not automatically have the ability to extricate the Alice from the situation, s/he merely appears as close as is plausible and attempts to do so.
12+	Someone or something of the Alice’s choice begins to shrink at 1 foot per round down to playing-card size. (Line of sight.)

Leveling up
At first level and every time the Alice levels up, roll d100 twice on the Level Up Table. What happens if a player rolls a thing twice (consecutively or otherwise) is also explained. Some of these in clude details about ability score bonuses, if the Alice has an ability score minus, just ignore it. Unless otherwise noted, bonuses max out at +10.

D20 Level Up Table

1-20	+1 to all saves
21-70	gain 2 skill points
71	For each combat round spent just watching someone (i.e. the Alice is not doing anything except maybe moving and she is not being attacked herself), the Alice gets +d4 to hit and/or +d4 to any attempt to trip, grab, or otherwise mess with the target when the Alice finally does decide to attack (one attack). In addition, the damage of the attack is multiplied by 2 (or by one more than usual, if the Alice would get a Sneak Attack modifier to damage). This only works on targets that are engaged in combat while they are being observed. The ability can only be used once per fight. Also: only works on things with organs (like, not on oozes). Re-rolling this raises the to hit die to d6 more, then d8 etc.
72	Add the Alice’s level to any attempt to locate any foodstuff of any kind. Re-rolling this just adds +1 more up to a maximum of 10. After that the bonus applies to any organic material. After that the bonus applies to any searched-for object. After that it’s a wasted roll.
73	The Alice has learned one Magic-User spell. It functions as if cast by a 15th level Magic-User or a Magic-User of the Alice’s level— whichever is higher. Determine the spell randomly (roll d8 to determine its level). It works once, that’s it.
74	The Alice can easily trip any basically human-sized creature that is otherwise engaged with someone or something else on a successful Dexterity check. This only works once per fight unless the enemy is mindless like zombies or for some reason can’t see the Alice pull off this tactic. Re-rolling this result means the trip does extra damage: d4, then d6, then d8, etc.
75	+2 to recognize the faction or function of any aristocrat in any land. It maxes out at +6. After that, for each time this bonus is re-rolled, the Alice is cousin or niece or otherwise secondhand related to any single NPC encountered thereafter of the Alice’s choice. The Alice may choose which.
76	The Alice knows a secret— one of two kinds of secret, to be precise: either a piece of useful lore about a legendary treasure or magic item that the Alice encountered or an embarrassing fact about an NPC. Mechanically: once per session the Alice may astound her party’s condescending Magic-User by pulling this lore or rumor out of the her petticoat or pantaloon by making a successful roll-under Intelligence check. If the Alice fails, screw it, the Alice can’t do it this session. Re-rolling this means the Alice may try twice per session, then 3 times, etc.
77	The Alice has become very skilled with improvised weapons— they do one die category more damage than they should. If the Alice garottes someone they automatically lose a turn on a successful hit, if the Alice drops caltrops or marbles and someone human-sized with two ordinary legs steps on them, the target will automatically fall down (at least the first time). Re-rolling this result adds damage to any of these effects: +2, +4, +6 , etc.
78	On a successful mêlée hit, the Alice may immediately make a Sleight of Hand attempt to grab an item (other than the target’s weapon) off a target. This won’t work twice on anyone above zombie-intelligence who sees it. Re-rolling this result means the Alice gets a bonus to the Sleight roll: +1, then +2, then +3, etc.
79	+1 Dexterity.
80	The Alice is surprising. + (half Charisma score) to hit with any suddenly improvised weapon the first time the Alice strikes with it against any intelligent foe (who knew what the Alice could do with a gingerbread man?) and add half the Alice’s Charisma to the damage. This trick only works once per fight and once per foe. Re-rolling this adds -, then +3, then +4 to the damage, etc.
81	The Alice is +1 to identify drugs and plants with drug-like properties for each time she rolls this.
82	The Alice’s silver tongue gives the Alice a - Charisma bonus to lying. If Charisma checks don’t come up much in your game, just say someone of ordinary intelligence that the Alice talks to will pretty much automatically believe one lie the Alice tells per day. If the Alice re-rolls this result it goes +2 more, +4, +6 etc. or a single extra lie per day per re-roll.
83	The Alice may escape death or another equally awful fate exactly once. The Alice must spend at least a round playing possum to build tension but...surprise, the Alice jumped out of the way just in time! Re-rolling this means the Alice gets to do it again.
84	Despite the low company the Alice keeps, she’s been working on her manners. Members of the upper classes instinctively recognize the Alice as one of their own (even if she isn’t). +1 to Charisma rolls or reaction checks when dealing with them for every time the Alice rolls this.
85	The dress made of manticoreflesh, the house full of lilacs, the magical fishgutting knife— whatever the thing that the Alice always wanted is, it’s there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell the Alice’s Referee, who then must place it. The Alice must have a fair shot at it— like any other reward in a game— but there’s no guarantee the Alice will get it. If the Alice doesn’t get it by the fourth session, the Alice can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However, if the Alice chooses to roll again and then gets the thing somehow anyway, the Alice loses whatever new gimmick the Alice rolled on the table. Referee: think up some clever reason why.
86	The Alice has been willed 5,000 units of the local currency (Gold pieces? Silver pieces? Kroner?) worth of random mundane (nonmagical) objects. Here’s how it works: the player of the Alice has exactly ten seconds real time to say what she bought. The Alice now has all that stuff, assuming it adds up to less than 5,000gp. The Alice does not get experience points for this treasure.
87	The Alice may re-roll any failed Stealth roll and keep the better result if it succeeds. Re-rolling 87 on this table means she can re-roll it twice and keep the best of those 3 results if any succeed. Re-rolling 87 after that means she can re-roll any roll failed three times, then four, etc.
88	Add +2 to Languages skill and choose a new extra language to read and speak.
89	The Alice is adept at forgery. It’s a roll pitting the Alice’s Intelligence vs. the interpreter’s Wisdom roll, assuming the Alice has access to about 40gp worth of stuff or the kind of materials you’d find in a civilized area. Every time the Alice re-rolls this she gets +2 to the check.
90	The Alice can appraise treasure to a nontrivial and nonboring degree: the value of nonmagical things can be estimated flawlessly and if a piece of treasure is not what it seems on any level the Alice will get an inkling. As in, if the Alice player goes “Is this not what it seems?” and the Referee will go “Yeah, you’ve seen a lot of jade urns in your day and this is not what it seems somehow— you’re not sure how.” If a treasure has some unusual or hidden feature of a mechanical or physical nature, the Alice will sense that it is there on a successful Intelligence roll. The Alice won’t know what it is, but the Alice’ll sense that it is there. The Alice will also have an extra +1 (in 6) and + Intelligence bonus (if any) chance to notice unusual features or traps in rooms if the Alice is familiar with the culture that built the room. If the player re-rolls this result, just roll again.
91-93	The Alice has become adept at dueling. The Alice may add her Dexterity bonus instead of her Strength bonus to hit with a foil, rapier or similar weapon (if the mechanics of your game already allow that, the Alice can add it to damage) or +1, whichever is greater. Each time the Alice rolls this result thereafter, the Alice is at +1 to hit in any formal (challenged and accepted) duel with any dueling weapon the Alice has used as a weapon before.
94	+1 Charisma
95	+2 to save vs any physical reaction like jumping out of the way
96	If the Alice is attacked in a round that she spends doing nothing but dodging and her attacker misses, the attacker will not only miss but fumble and lose his or her next turn (if s/he or it has multiple attacks, s/he will lose a number of attacks equal to the Alice’s level). This only works once on anything of better than zombie intelligence that sees it happen. If the Alice re-rolls this result, the Alice gets to do it twice in a combat, then three times, then four, etc.
97-98	+1 to reaction checks or Charisma rolls from all ordinary animals and talking-but-otherwise-ordinary animals.
99-00	Nothing phases the Alice any more, she is immune to insanity or confusion in any form. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. The Alice still knows fear. Fear is good fear keeps the Alice alive. Re-rolling this means any allies who can see the Alice likewise get a bonus (+2) to their saves against insanity or confusion on account of the Alice’s reassuring presence.